A Wammyful Winter
by Cookie to Seki na
Summary: The Kira case goes on hold when Watari sends the Yagami family and friends to the Wammy house to spend a Winter off. Boy, are they in for a surprise!HIATUS
1. Plane Ride Part 1

**Urgh…I finally got this up. My computer doesn't like cooperating with me much, but I've managed. If anybody decides to ask me, I don't truly know what point in the story this story starts in. All I know is that the beginning is set during the Winter, or at least in England it's Winter, and everybody is older. Pretend L never died, Light never met Near and Mello, Matt wasn't killed, and all that stuff that should've normally happened during the Kira case. In other words, just think of it as the Kira case, but everybody got older and nobody ever died.**

The Kira investigation had gone on for long enough. Years of searching and not a single clue to further the search for the ever elusive serial killer. Frankly, the investigation team was sick of it. They worked day in and day out, under the strict rule of the world's three best detectives, L. During the Winter of 2009, Light decided to finally make a stand. After three years, he _finally_ decided to stand up for himself and his investigation team. How wonderful. Shooting up from his seat, Light towered above the crouched detective, who was trying to enjoy his strawberry shortcake.

"Ryuzaki, I have had enough!" All eyes were on the Yagami family son as L did not even turn his chair.

"Whatever do you mean, Light?"

"Ryuzaki, we've been working on this case for three years! _Three years!_ We haven't had a break ever since! I think that we should take the next year of investigating off. It would be good on all of our systems." The task force quietly murmured their agreement, causing Light to smirk ever so slightly.

"Light, if we were to take a year off from this case, more people will die while we are off taking a break." The shortcake was slowly being devoured as whipped cream was topped higher on it with every chunk bitten off. It was so amazingly sweet, it was disgusting.

"But we've got no leads! Nothing to work off of! There hasn't been anything new on this case for years, Ryuzaki! And the killings have obviously minimized since last year, which means even if we were to sit here all day for the next few months working on this case, the killings won't stop. I think it would be reasonable to take a well deserved rest from this case. It really is driving everyone up the wall."

"In order to gain a lead, we must work towards it. If by a slim chance of point five seven percent we were to gain a lead from a witness of the death of a suspect, we would be able to work off from that lead and be one step closer to catching the criminal. Once the killings cease completely, we may all take a well deserved rest where the rest is correctly due."

"But, Ryuzaki—!" Suddenly, the screens on all of the monitors switched to a glowing white screen with the Old English Five font 'W' appeared.

"Yes, Watari? What is it?" L asked to the monitor, licking off the remainder of the whip cream on his plate. The plate was shiny with the detective's saliva as all of the cake had been wiped clean from the plate.

"If I may, Ryuzaki, I would like to speak with you in private."

"Very well. I will be there in a moment." Ryuzaki changed the monitors back to normal as he stood from his crouched position and trudged out of the doors, leaving the Task Force to themselves for an unknown period of time.

"Hey, it's lunch time!" Someone announced, but nobody moved. They all waited in the room as, after a few minutes, L returned, his face telling nothing as usual.

"Well, Light. It seems as though your vacation away from the Kira case will be rewarded to you." This alone made the Task Force want to jump in joy. Light shot up from his seat, leaving his forgotten rolling chair to spin in slow, unbounded circles.

"That's great! Where are we going? When?" Light was obviously very excited as he had had enough of his lack of hygienic disability and his lack of REM sleep.

"Watari has scheduled a trip to Winchester, England, tomorrow morning at 6 AM sharp. Watari has done the liberty of purchasing eleven plane tickets. However, these tickets are not for the Task Force alone. Watari wanted these exact persons to attend the trip: The Yagami family, Matsuda, Aizawa, Misa Amane, Kiyomi Takada, Mikami Teru, myself, and Watari. You are expected to be ready by at least 5:50 AM tomorrow and be at the airport before the plane departs. The rest of the investigation team will, however, be allowed to spend their time on anything they wish to do within Japan. That is all." Several of the people in the room nearly jumped for joy as they all rushed out of the room, Light somehow being first out. The news spread rather quickly and soon, it was the next morning.

The eleven people scheduled to take the flight were currently established sitting in their seats as they awaited the arrival of the plane. They were fifteen minutes early and the plane was starting to allow their passengers aboard.

"Ryuzaki, tell me why you bought us Economy class tickets when you could clearly afford First Class?" Light asked, hoping that it had been a mistake and they had really been allowed on first class.

"Watari purchased the tickets, which means I had no say in what tickets he would purchase. If it truly bothers Light that much, would you rather the tickets be switched?"

"That would be—"

"Sir, the tickets cannot be switched as of now. That would be a hassle for the airport."

"Watari has spoken Light. You cannot change the tickets, therefore, you will be staying in Economy class."

"That's…great."

The plane boarded not long afterwards as they were all assigned seats practically next to each other. The other passengers seemed to stop and stare at L as he was crouched in this plane seat, which 

was a rather tight squeeze, no matter how lanky he was. A flight attendee passed by and glanced at him oddly, but passed by without word. As more passengers boarded, L began to grow bored and began to stack his boxes of Pocky, which he had claimed to be a present for someone. People stopped to gaze, but were quickly pushed by others to keep moving. As everybody was getting comfortable, Light gazed around to see if everybody was alright with the seating arrangements. Takada, Mikami, and Misa were all in one row, and across from them was Soichiro, Watari, and Sachiko. In the row right between both rows sat Aizawa, Matsuda, and Sayu. Light, L and an older businessman sat in the row in front of Takada's row. Light didn't really trust this seating arrangement, but L had said that it would work out.

Almost immediately, Light realized trouble a-brewing as Misa's voice could be heard behind him.

"You! There's no way that MY Light would ever go out with you!" Light could've sworn he could _hear_ Takada smirking. He didn't even know how that conversation even came up.

"Misa, if you would please, the people sitting around us will hear your voice and it is probably distracting them greatly." At least somebody had common sense!

"I will NOT lower my voice! You're being a prissy little bitch who wants to steal my Light!" The nearby sitters gasped at her language as Mikami stood between them, thinking of a great plan to stop their arguing AND impress God.

"Ladies, please—" but poor Mikami was cut off before he even got to proclaim his great negotiation.

"Don't 'Ladies, please' us! What do you think you are, a Ladies Man?! As if!" Misa complained as Mikami turned a shade of pink at the attention he was receiving from passerbys and onlookers.

"Mikami has yet to do anything wrong, Misa. He was simply trying to keep us from disturbing other passengers. Am I right, Mikami?"

"Oh, trying to sound all smart and professional, huh?! Well, you know what? I'm just going to beat up that smarty pants professional attitude of yours!"

"If you could please quiet dow—"

"You shut up, random person! This doesn't concern you!" Misa yelled angrily at the bystander, who quickly scurried away in fear of being pounced on.

"Guys, the plane hasn't even left yet!" Matsuda called from his row, taking his eyes off of Sayu for a few seconds.

"As if you're one to talk, Matsuda! You've been ogling Sayu this whole time! I don't know what you call that, but I call it visual harassment!" Aizawa yelled to the officer sitting a seat away from him, causing the two Yagami parents to grow angrier at the cop.

"Matsuda, stop looking at my daughter in such vile ways!" Soichiro growled at the officer, who just nodded feebly and cowered back into his seat. Aizawa sat proudly, until his silence was once again broken.

"Light, you have rather great authority of the three sitting behind me. It seems that your superiority complex just raises your Kira percentage up."

"What?! I thought you abandoned that statement a long time ago! And I bet you don't even know what percentage I'm at anymore!"

"Your ploys to try and derail me of my thought train is rather Kira-like of you, Light."

"Ugh, I don't even know why I'm working under you!"

"Because you are trying to cover suspicion of you being Kira."

"Stop it! I'm just going to ignore you from now on!"

"Very well. However, I must insist that you stop denying that youa re Kira."

"Lalala, I'm not listening!" The plane announcement on safety had started up, but nobody was listening as the blabbering continued.

"Ah, Light, your pant zipper is unzipped."

"It i—I mean, I'm not listening!"

"Alright then, let me get it for you."

"No! I'll get it myself!"

"But I clearly remember you telling me that you were no longer listening to me."

"Ugh, you know what?! You deserve a fist in the face right now!"

"If you wish to send your fist into me, then do so."

"Then I will!"

"I'm waiting."

"I will! Just give me a second!"

"I am still awaiting that punch."

"Agh!" And the aforementioned fist came flying straight into L's face as he slid across the rows, stopping when his head came in contact with a metal bar underneath Soichiro's seat, causing him to jump slightly. L's nose was bleeding from such a hard impact, and the businessman was about to snap next to him.

"What did you do that for?!" Matsuda yelled as they all stared down at the bleeding detective.

"I don't know! I was panicking! I needed to buy some time!"

"For WHAT?!" Aizawa yelled, staring at the Yagami with wild eyes.

"To panic!" Light yelled back, running up to L to check if he was okay. The moment his body was within vicinity, L sent a flying kick right into Light's gut as he went flying right into the porthole shaped window, making a loud clang sound and a crack to appear on the window. L's bleeding had stopped miraculously as he was up and ready to fight. Light stood up, his headache worsening as he wiped his nose, only to find it wasn't bleeding. With a short breath of relief, he charged at L, crying a yell of rage. His fist made contact with L's foot as they both stood in place, blood dripping from both impacted body parts. They recoiled and made contact once more, somehow switching positions to L's fist making contact with Light's foot. Their fighting continued as one by one they each flew to another part of the plane. The businessman suddenly stood up and ran to the lavatory, his migraine growing ten times the size of Mt. Rushmore. Inside, the man yelled in utmost rage as all sounds outside ceased to listen on the man's yells of utter gibberish.

"What the…"

"I do not believe we should ask."

"Agreed."

The two fighters both took to their seats as the man came back, frazzled but still very professional looking. He sat down quickly and limped in his seat. As the plane began to jerk forward, the man, and everybody else for that matter, knew this plane ride was going to be extremely long.

**And so it is finished! It isn't as long as the beginning chapter for my other story, which isn't in this archive in case you're wondering, but I figured it'd be fine since nobody really cares. Which reminds me, I need to update my other story soon. My trip to Catalina Island kind of threw me off, and it used up most of the day.**


	2. Plane Ride Part 2

**A double update! The only possible way for this double update was to cut my time from my other story, which killed me already. I feel my chapters are shortening in length, too. Anyway, this is my second update for this story, which started off pretty well for my first DN fic. **

**A bit of a note to the question that Sonzai Taz asked in a review: In this story, Light isn't Kira in this fic, but this is after the Yotsuba arc. As I said, it's practically in the future, but without the characters dying. I just throw in Kira comments from L because we all know, even in the manga and anime, that they were actually very funny. I hear the joke with the percentages a lot too. Well, time to start on my fic! **

**PS: I forgot to have L mention it, but they're only staying in England for Winter, as the title says. **

The plane lurched forward from the airport as the runways were cleared for takeoff. The plane ride was going smoothly so far, no fights had broken out and Misa's arguments were nullified for awhile. Frankly, the passengers were quite relieved. As the plane slowly transitioned from the ground to the air, trouble began to brew once more.

"Where are you going, Light?" Light had stood from his seat and was making his way out of his row when L decided to ask.

"If you must know, I'm going to use the lavatory. Why, do you think I'm trying to escape?" Light joked at the end, but it seemed that the joke had yet to reach the detective.

"That is a possibility."

"What?!"

"Light, does it peeve you that I have discovered your escape method?"

"No! Ryuzaki, tell me this: How do I escape from a moving plane? Jump out the window?"

"That is also a possibility, Light. In order to escape, a criminal would do most anything to get out of a situation like this with their lives. Though the plane has only reached a low altitude, one can still jump from the plane and land softly on the ground floor, albeit with a few broken bones."

"You know, if it bothers you so much, why don't you just handcuff us together again?" Light had meant it to sound sarcastic, but as per usual, sarcasm did not affect the detective as a _click_ could be heard. The handcuff had been reattached to his wrist as L began to stand as well. The businessman at the window seat looked at them oddly, his mind probably in the gutter once he saw the chains.

"I didn't mean it!" Light argued, trying to no avail to get the handcuff off. L just tilted his head.

"Then you should not have suggested it, Light." Light just groaned and walked towards the lavatory, which was all the way near the back of the plane. And you know what the best part was? They passed several aisles and probably a number of people before getting there. Lots of odd looks and some very disgusted looks came their way as Light tried to cover his face. Little had they known, Misa and 

oddly enough Matsuda, were following them. Once Light had reached the lavatory, he stepped inside, but L tried to follow him.

"No, you stay outside, okay?" Light told L as he held his hand up to tell him to stop following him.

"Why?" Poor reclusive detective. He didn't ever learn about personal space and privacy.

"'Why'? What kind of question is that?"

"I am simply curious as to why I am not allowed in as well. It would make it all the easier on the both of us."

"Uh, no! This is a bathroom, Ryuzaki! You'd be a pervert if you came in with me!"

"I'm…a pervert?" Light just shook his head to himself. He was NOT having this conversation. He just ignored all of L's mumbling as he walked inside and slammed the door, only to find it wouldn't close. He checked the door and sure enough, the chain to the handcuffs were blocking the lock from clicking. Light tried to readjust so that the door would close, but he soon found that impossible.

"Um...Ryuzaki?"

"Yes, Light?" L had just gotten over the fact that he was indeed, not a pervert.

"The chain is…um, stuck."

"I had already informed Light that I would be allowed in because you cannot use the bathroom in privacy without allowing my entry."

"You never said that! Gah! Whatever, just get in here!" Light was losing it already and they hadn't even got off the plane or anything. Yes, this would be a very long six hours. The passengers closest, Misa, and Matsuda watched as L slowly walked into the lavatory, joining Light in the incredibly small portable. Matsuda was holding his breath in and Misa was quite angry. Inside, several sounds could be heard.

"Ryuzaki, move over!"

"If I can assume correctly, it is you who is taking up most of the space."

"Whatever! Just, turn around or something!"

"I cannot. I have been pushed into a corner. It would take up more space if I were to turn around, granted that I cannot in the first place."

"But I'm not letting you watch me urinate! That's disgusting!"

"It truly does not matter at this point, does it?"

"Well…"

"If you are going to assume that I will unlock the chains while you urinate, you are sadly mistaken."

"I haven't even said anything!"

"It matters not. Please, quickly dispose of your waste products so that we can get out of our cramped situation."

"Ugh, but—"

"Just do it."

"No! I refuse to do anything while you're in here!" A loud crashing sound could be heard inside as the passengers who had heard it, which was probably everybody in the back of the plan, winced. Everyone could only imagine what was happening in there. Matsuda and Misa stood closer, but quickly inched away when a loud _thump_ was heard and the door popped slightly.

"Light, if you do not wish for me to pull us both out and make you hold your waste in for the next six hours, then I suggest you use the urinal now."

"Fine. But you'd better close your eyes or something…" A zipping sound could be heard and soon, the sound of water.

"Hm…Light, that is quite impressive." A somewhat disgusted sound was heard inside.

"Ryuzaki, you're a pervert you know that?"

"How am I a pervert when I am only stating my opinion? I am just saying that I'm impressed at how small it is. Truly, I've never seen anything so—"

"Okay, that's it! You are going to shut up right now or you'll be flying out this door at any moment!" Matsuda, who was having a huge nosebleed, was trying to stop the bleeding and trying to keep his mind out of the gutter. Misa, on the other hand, was practically glowing with anger as she stomped to the door. With one mighty punch of her superstar fist, the door came toppling down, revealing L sitting in the corner and Light, who was still trying to use the bathroom.

"Ryuzaki! I will tell you right now that my Light is not small! He's a very proud—"

"Misa, SHUT UP!" Light yelled as he turned bright red. He was sure everybody could hear them now. Matsuda was already trying to stop drowning in his own blood as he made his way back to his seat, trying to pretend nothing happened, but failing miserably. L, who looked quite normal, just sat in his corner quietly and watched the drama unfold.

"But, Light! Ryuzaki was insulting your—"

"Misa! Stop talking out loud!" Light tried to shush them down, but it only resulted in Misa stalking away angrily to her seat, where she met with the most shocked eyes Mikami and Takada could muster. Light had already rezipped his pants up and was walking shamefully down the aisle, getting a lot of looks, plenty of sniggering, and many people about ready to crack up or die of nosebleed. Once the two reached their seat, the businessman shot straight out of his seat and made way for the farthest place from the two handcuffed men. Huffing, Light plopped into his seat and folded his arms childishly.

"Light, it is rather childish of you to be perturbed by this most unfortunate of events. Quite frankly, you should not be ashamed of—"

"I've heard enough from you! You're the reason this happened in the first place!"

"That is not correct, as it was you who had suggested we be chained together to prevent your escape."

"Agh!! That's it! I'm going to sleep and I'll be freakin' damn pissed if I find you trying to bother me!" With that last statement, Light tried to drift off to sleep, his only place where he could escape the madness that was ensuing around him. L, who was sitting thoughtfully in his chair in his usual position, couldn't help but notice Light falling asleep almost immediately. Pulling out his laptop, L began to work on recent cases that he had accepted during the Kira investigation to pass the time. However, L's particular laptop was messing up the plane and it started to get out of control. A waitress passed by and noticed the computer, stopping to request that he turn it off.

"Sir, I will need you to shut off your computer. It is messing with the plane's airwaves. We will encounter horrible problems if you allow your computer to run."

"I am sorry, but my laptop is for work purposes. It is required that I be allowed to use it."

"But, sir. The chances that this plane will go out of control right now is—"

"Approximately ninety eight point four percent. I do realize that this puts the plane and everyone in it in danger. However, it is highly possible the remaining one point six percent will come true and we will not all be destroyed mercilessly and quickly." Though the waitress was at shock, she tried to persist until the plane suddenly jerked to the right. The intercom came on as a very frantic voice rang out.

"Passengers! We are having slight difficulties with turbulence. We request that at this time, all electronics be shut down so that the plane may fly correctly. Thank you for your time."

"Does that answer your questions, sir?"

"Yes, it indeed does." L shut his computer off, and the turbulence ended. The waitress smiled as she walked away, leaving L to himself to be bored. Suddenly, an idea arose to him.

Light groggily awoke as he heard the voices of many passengers and of the guests on the trip. His eyes fluttered open as he began to zone in on their conversation.

"Wow, Ryuzaki was right…it really is quite small," came a voice as Light soon was wide awake. In his wake was a large group of people standing over him, his pants having already been removed and his boxers lying forgotten at his ankles. Almost immediately, Light became bright red and shot up, scaring the dipshit out of everybody.

"What the hell!" were the first words to leave the suspect's mouth as the crowd soon got much bigger, Light's exposed half still standing in all of its glory, though it had none. From the crowd, L walked out.

"Ah, you are awake, Light. Good." Suddenly, Light jumped up and tried to strangle the poor detective.

"You! You did this didn't you!?"

"Quite possibly. I needed means of entertainment, so I arranged this. But all is well, as the plane is about to arrive in Winchester, England." Light just bared his teeth as the crowd slowly and very hesitantly dispersed, leaving the pantsed suspected and the reclusive detective.

"_Passengers, we have arrived in Winchester, England. I repeat, we have landed in Winchester, England. Please fasten your seat belts and await landing. And also, person in the row in the back: Put your pants back on!"_

People sniggered as Light pulled his pants and his boxers up with much difficulty, fumbling from the attention he was gaining. Thinking his day could not get any worse, the plane stopped and the people lined up to exit the plane. Light stood up, but heard some girls giggling in the line. Guys standing near them noticed something too and started to snicker loudly. Light didn't know what they were looking at, but dismissed it, even though the stares were directed towards him. Just then, L came in.

"Light, your pants are unzipped and you forgot to pull your boxers up all the way."

"_**AGHH!!**_"

**Yes, totally messed up, I know. I didn't feel very serious at the moment, and it IS a humor fic, so why not? Light bashing is quite fun, really. Try it some time, it's enjoyable. Unless, of course, you are a huge Light fan. In that case, I'm sorry if it offended you.**


	3. Welcome to Wammy's

**Awesome, I get to update again. Thanks to everyone who decided to stop by and review! The reviews mean a lot to me, or as much as I think they do. Just to answer anybody's question, mostly Volital's, I like to make people nosebleed in my story at least once. I don't know why, I guess it's because I like having nosebleeds. No, I don't get nosebleeds from anything explicit and whatnot, I just get them at random times. Why do I like nosebleeds? It gives me a reason to be a piece of deadwood on my bed and it also lets me be lazy. Also, I'm sure we all know that deep down inside of Matsuda, he has a really dirty mind. That is all.**

Lucky for all of the passengers, the plane ride was finally over and none of them would ever see the likes of those misfits ever again. Truly, a miracle had been made upon them all. The eleven party members exited the plane and stood in the terminal, under Watari's order of course.

"Watari, is there a reason why we are still stationed here at the terminal? Are we awaiting the arrival of someone?" L asked the old man as Watari simply nodded.

"We are waiting for Roger to send us an escort to Wammy's House." L just nodded, but his following silence was soon short lived.

"Wait, we're going to Wammy's House?! That famous orphanage that Quillish Wammy set up?! Wow!" Matsuda shouted excitedly as everybody turned their heads towards the hyperactive inspector.

"Matsuda? You actually know something about this place?" Light asked from his spot next to Misa. Matsuda nodded, a goofy grin still present on his face.

"Where'd you pick it up from? A cereal box?" Aizawa asked sarcastically as everyone but Matsuda, L and Watari burst into laughter.

"No! I went through some files on Watari a few years ago. Remember? I told everyone that Watari was actually Quillish Wammy and that he was a famous inventor?" Everybody turned to Watari, who looked the same as always, though deep inside he felt nervous.

"Is that true, Watari?!" Soichiro spoke up as Watari simply nodded, albeit quite slowly. Everybody began to mutter excitedly about the new matter, but the honking of a limo outside the terminal window caught their attentions.

"That would be Roger now," L said, his thumb wandering his mouth as they all picked up and left the building. The first thing that Light realized was that it was snowing lightly, making the world around him seem at peace. Everyone filed into the limo and comfortably settled themselves inside. Chattering incessantly inside the limo, the driver suddenly halted to a stop.

"Sir, we have arrived at Wammy's Orphanage for the Gifted and Talented." Suddenly, Light perked up at the name.

"What does he mean 'Gifted and Talented'? Is there something special about this orphanage?" Light questioned curiously, which caused murmurs throughout the group.

"Yes, and you will all see quite soon as we have arrived," L motioned for everyone to get off the limo as the black vehicle drove into the long driveway that extended from the front door to the outside. The eleven shuffled through the snow, the snowing had stopped, and peered at the large manor before them. It looked brand new, but must have been made many years ago from the looks of the style in which it was built. Light, who trailed next to L, suddenly felt a bump in where he stepped. He looked down and saw nothing but white, though his foot was stuck. Wriggling his foot a little, he found he could not get unstuck. L noticed the group not moving and peered back, Watari following suit.

"What seems to be the matter, Light?"

"My foot! It's stuck!"

"Hm, let me see." L walked over to the stuck adult and peered below, noticing the white bundle as well. Suddenly, a rare smile, a genuine smile, appeared slowly onto the detective's face. Everybody noticed this and tried to find out why he was smiling.

"Light, may I ask you something?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Do you like snow?"

"Why woul—" suddenly, a huge snowball rammed right into Light's face as he nearly flew back, his foot slowly being let go. The icy snowball nearly froze Light's face as he landed with a _plop_ into the snow behind him. Grumbling could be heard from the fallen boy as soon, Mikami, Misa, and Matsuda were soon taken out by snowballs as well. Everyone peered as to where the snowballs were coming from, and soon took notice of two figures.

"Nice shot, Matt! That was a fucking awesome headshot!" came a voice as another stray snowball flew and smashed itself into Aizawa's head as well, causing the two figures to burst out laughing. From the snow pile that Light had stuck his foot in came a small boy with white hair and oversized pajamas. L took notice of his surroundings and instantly formed a snowball, sending it flying into the white tundra-like field. After a few seconds, they all heard a smashing sound and they all knew it had hit a target.

"What the fuck?! Matt, did you throw that at me?!" The voice said, a snowball flying way off course by the group.

"No! Dude, that's fucking awesome! A freaking snowball just totally pwned you!" The other voice commented, but was soon met with muffles as a snowball flew into his face.

"Shut the fuck up, Matt! I'm going to get whoever did that!" Soon, out of the white wonderland, the two became much clearer. The fallen players had already stood, though quite freezing from their earlier impact with snowballs. As they took notice of who was coming, they realized they were quite young, albeit at least less than twenty. One had a mat of blonde hair while the other was a red head 

with goggles adorning his eyes as a shield from the weather. Soon, they all noticed, though many flourished with pink, that they both were shirtless, facing the weather like nothing. They ran within about ten feet and suddenly, their eyes were wide with excitement. Dashing towards the group, though the red-head kept fumbling a bit, they stopped in front of them, not even panting for breath.

"Dude, it's fucking L!" The red head cried out as the blonde nearly launched himself onto the detective.

"It's good to see you too, Matt, Mello. How are you? And might I ask why Near is on the floor?" L was already being tackled by both boys as the white haired one stood from his place on the floor, slowly taking hold of the detective himself. The rest of them gaped, though some were trying to fight the urge to stare at them, wondering where their tops had gone.

"Okay, who are they L? And why do they know you?" Came Light's voice as he had found his way back on his feet, momentarily glaring at the white clad boy for holding him down.

"Ah, where are my manners? These are my three successors, Matt, Mello, and Near. They attend Wammy's House," L explained as Mello shot the brunette a dirty look.

"So who the fuck are you?" Mello asked the very shocked brunette, startling everyone once again with his vulgar language. Suddenly, Matt burst out laughing. Everybody looked at him crazily, wondering why he was laughing so heartily.

"Dude! I think his name was Lint or something, but check out the cuffs!" Matt pointed at the handcuffs between them as Mello began to grow red. Near, who had just realized the cuffs as well, just kind of stared blankly at them, his expression not changing in the slightest.

"You mean…he's…?"

"First of all, my name is Light. And second of all, what're you talking about? These handcuffs are just here because L thinks I'm Kira, which I'm not!" Light explained loudly, wondering why his life sucked so much.

"Oh! Well, still, those handcuffs gotta go. It makes you look like lovers or some shit," Matt pointed out, lighting a cigarette and pulling out his DS to enjoy his Final Fantasy game. So far, he was completely ahead of the game with unheard of stats. Light was blushing at the word "lovers", but L seemed quite indifferent.

"I was about to unlink them. Might I ask for the rest of the speechless members of my party as to why you are both without shirts?"

"Oh, that's easy! We were making a new Wammy House tradition where we have to always go outside without our shirts and have a snowball fight. Near was too sissy to take his shirt off, and Matt said something about just making him unbutton his shirt or some other shit. Doesn't matter, it just 

means I beat him in something!" Mello explained proudly as all eyes turned to the quiet Near, who was twisting his hair and stacking snowballs miraculously without destroying any of them.

"Mello, surely you know it is common sense to wear warm clothing during the season of Winter, especially because the temperature here in England could very well drop down to negative degrees. Surely you know that this means the only thing you have beaten me in so far is being an idiot," The white-haired teen said, surprising a majority of the group. Their surprise was long forgotten as the two got into an argument, only one side being heated at all. L stepped between them, stopping their argument for awhile.

"You two, stop fighting this instant. You must tour my group around the Wammy House and show them their rooms. Afterwards, I would like you to make my guests comfortable." With that final command, Mello and Matt grabbed their shirts and continued to lead the group inside of the building where the warm smell of soup filled the manor top to bottom. Light, who had taken time to inspect for any traps around the place, heard a faint whispering between Sayu and surprisingly Takada. After Sayu had whispered something to Takada, glowing bright red no doubt, Takada had giggled as Sayu had yelled something along the lines of "it's not funny!" at the older woman.

"Alright, groupies! I'm your tour guide Matt, and my assistant Mello! First, the awesome playroom where Near sits day in and day out stacking stuff and solving his blank white puzzles! This playroom is totally wicked, so stop by when you've got time!" Matt yelled to the group, who gave him nervous looks. Mello punched Matt in the arm and gave him an accusingly look as Matt rubbed his arm.

"Stop lying to them, Matt!"

"But I'm not!"

"Uh, yes, you fucking are!"

"But it IS a playroom!"

"Hm, let's see…NO SHIT, MATT! Of course it's a playroom! It's just not awesome and totally wicked!" The group watched the two bicker, L just sighing and talking to Near about some theory as, from down the hallway, a beautiful brunette girl came bounding towards the group. The five Wammy House occupants knew who she was instantly.

"Hello, Linda. It is good to see you again," L greeted as Linda greeted him back, showing him respect and letting everyone know that L had great authority at the orphanage.

"Hey Matt, Mello! Uh, hey Near!" Linda called to the three, though Light and the other girls in the group noticed that Linda had been blushing slightly when she turned to Near. Near, being the indifferent little albino kid he was, simply greeted her back, though void of any emotion whatsoever.

"Linda! Tell Matt that the playroom is NOT fucking awesome!"

"No! Linda tell him it is! The playroom is da SHIT!" Linda, who had ignored them both, looked at the rest of the group curiously, many of them looking back at her.

"Would you like me to guide you? Matt and Mello argue like this all the time, just let them be!" Linda told them, many of them understanding immediately. Matsuda, who was slightly pink, looked at Linda with almost stricken eyes.

"That'd be, uh, great! You're really pretty by the way!" Matsuda nearly shouted, gaining a boost of courage for a second. Linda just giggled and loudly gave her thank you by kissing Matsuda on the cheek, causing him to turn even redder. Light had to admit, she was pretty though. He himself almost blushed looking at her, which made Misa and Takada grumble as they stared at her with absolute hate. Linda guided them through the hallways, pointing out several important rooms along the way. Suddenly, from the hallway they had just come from, Matt and Mello ran by them, their hands in the air. They all peered behind them and noticed guns being pointed at their heads. Quickly, they panicked. Suddenly, Near's quiet voice came through.

"Gevanni, Rester, put your guns away." The young teen simply twirled a lock of his hair as the two bodyguards slowly put their guns down, Halle joining them soon afterwards. Mello and Matt quickly put their hands down, Matt's video game suddenly beeping away enthusiastically once more. An accusing finger was pointed to the young albino as Mello's rage was growing.

"You little pansy! Why'd you sic your damn bodyguards on us?!"

"I did no such thing, Mello." Rester, Gevanni, and Halle were soon at Near's side, standing and guarding watchfully for anything. Then, they noticed L standing in intrigue.

"Lidner, Rester, Gevanni, this is our mentor, L." The bodyguards' eyes went wide as they quickly bowed in L's presence.

"We've heard much about you, L," Halle said as L merely nodded, chewing from his strawberry cake that seemed to appear from nowhere. After that entire fiasco, everyone was directed to their rooms to get ready for dinner. Light, who was forced to share a room with L, threw himself onto the couch that lay in the middle of their luxurious room. He sighed with content as he melted himself into the cushions.

"Light." Light soon shot up from his spot on the couch at the sound of his name. In front of him stood L in his usual slouching position.

"Yes? What is it?"

"How are you liking it here so far?" For Light, that question could be answered many ways, but he decided to answer truthfully.

"Honestly, I'm not really liking its occupants. On the other hand, the luxuries inside the building are quite extraordinary. I guess I'm kind of in the middle."

"I see." Silence ensued for a bit before Light decided to ask all of his questions.

"Hey, L. What status do you have in this house? The people who live here seem to respect you a lot." L was about to answer when the door suddenly flew open, allowing entrance of a certain four occupants of the house.

"L! Near stole my—the fuck is this guy doing in here?" Mello shouted from the door, his face showing anger.

"If you must know, I live here in this room for the rest of Winter! And I have a question for you all."

"Shoot," Matt said, his nonchalance not unnerving to anyone.

"What kind of status does L have here? You guys seem to respect him a lot," Light said curiously, earning him two misfits bursting into laughter. Mello wiped a tear from his eye as he just stared at the brunette, wondering if he had heard right.

"Dude, L is a fucking _God_ here at Wammy's!" Matt blurted out, causing Light to go wide-eyed. A God? What the hell?

"Yeah, newcomer. Everybody respects L around here. Disrespecting him is like asking for a fucking punch in the face," Mello pointed out, making a fist for emphasis as he voluntarily cracked his knuckles for effect. Light almost slid back on the couch and feared for his life when he heard the knuckles cracking, so he decided to just go along with it. Suddenly, the intercom in the corner seemed to come to life as Roger called everyone to the dining hall for dinner. As Near passed by the still shocked brunette, he whispered something to him that sent chills up his spine.

"Enjoy your stay in Wammy's, Light Yagami. Good luck." The creepy tone the boy seemed to use, though it was actually a very monotonous tone, made Light involuntarily use vulgar language.

"…Fuck."

**Don't ask, I don't know what this is. I'm not sure if it was funny, or just a chapter thrown in here to introduce something. All I know is that there was a lot of cussing and, to me, it makes it funny. I've never actually heard Light cuss majorly, but I'm guessing in the anime subbed version or the manga, he uses more extreme cusses than the dubbed version. Eh, who knows? Yes, I am trying to hint at a pairing, but I might not actually use it. And for those who don't know, Linda IS a real character in the manga I believe. She's the artistic one from Wammy's who, if I recall correctly, gave Light the illustrations of Mello and Near.**


End file.
